Secrets of Us A Forbidden Love Romance (Alina)

Chapter 243

Chapter 242

The sun is high and shining at its brightest by the twe get back home. There are long shadows cast before

us, the lake behind the house reflecting all the light.

Aiden's mouth drops open when Zaid pulls up the driveway. He gets out of the car and scoffs in surprise as he

takes in the trees and the house. | smile to myself, knowing exactly how he feels looking at it for the first time.

We all step inside the house and Aiden looks around, grinning like a kid.

"This place is insane," he says, dragging his suitcase through the entryway. "How did you guys even find this?"

| smile, cheeks warm, because | can feel Zaid watchingfrom across the room. "Zaid found it."

Aiden whistles low, still in awe. | give him a tour before | lead him upstairs.

"You can drop your stuff here for now. It's my room." | say, stepping aside as he wheels

his suitcase in. He sets it down and then walks to my window to look out.

I'm about to walk to stand beside him when | feel Zaid's hand slip around my wrist, tugginggently toward the

hall.

"I'll be right back," I tell Aiden, and he nods, distracted by the lake view out the window.

Zaid pullsinto the art room, and the door clicks shut behind us.

He doesn't say anything, he just looks at me, jaw tight, breath shallow. Then suddenly, his lips crash into mine,

and | gasp as he pressesagainst the wall, his body hot, his hands framing my jaw.

| melt into it, my fingers digging into his back, my hips grinding into his. It's fast and full of something desperate.

When he finally pulls away, his lips are swollen and his chest heaving.

"What was that for?" | whisper, dazed,

He rests his forehead against mine. "Just needed it," he says quietly. "I've got a few things

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to get done. Thought I'd give you two sprivacy to catch up."

| blink. "You're leaving?"

He nods, stepping back, smoothing my hair with a soft touch. "Just for a bit."

| nod too, even though part ofwants to reach for him again. He walks away first and | whisper to myself,

adjusting my clothes as | slip back to my room.

Aiden's still standing at the window, watching the ripples on the water. He turns when | enter. “It's warm enough

to swim, right?"

"I haven't tried."

"Then let's find out.”

Before | can react, he throwsover his shoulder with a laugh, and I shriek, pounding at

his back as he barrels down the stairs and out onto the deck.

"Aiden, wait, I'm not wearing -!"

But he's already running. Then we're flying through the air.

The lake hits like a shock, cold and clear, and | cup sputtering and laughing all at

once, hair slicked back and clothes clinging to me.

"You're insane!" | yell, splashing water at him, trying to kick him under the water. He's laughing, swimming

toward me. "C'mon. You love it."

He catches me, arms strong around my waist. | loop mine around his shoulders, breathless from the adrenaline.

He tugs at my soaked shirt, lifting it over my head before helping me

with my jeans.

The water is cool against my skin. | watch as he undresses and shake my head. "You ruined my clothes."

"We were going to take them off at one point," he grins.

I roll my eyes, but smile.

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When he throws our clothes on the deck, he's back to wrapping an arm around my waist. His hands slide down

my back and he kissesagain.

It's warm and familiar.

But something's missing.

My eyes stay closed longer than they should. Maybe if | don't look at him, | can pretend | don't feel the

difference. That this doesn't feel like a memory trying to repeat itself rather

than something new.

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He pulls back, helpingwrap my legs around his waist. "So, tellmore about this fellowship with your aunt."

"Well, it's my aunt's fellowship. I'm just freeloading."

That gets a chuckle out of him.

| smile and tell him the basics. He listens, nodding, listening as he looks around.

"You have to go," he says after a beat. "It's likenot taking the UCLA offer. You have

to."

My heart thuds. It would be like that, wouldn't it? | would tell Aiden he's insane for not

taking it if he showed any signs of doubt. | wouldn't ever let him chooseover

an

opportunity like that.

So, why would | let myself choose Zaid?

His lips find mine again, and | kiss him back. He's hard between his legs and his

cock brushes against my thighs, makingtense.

He moves his lips down my jaw. "Fuck, I've missed you."

| nod, letting my body take his touch, take his kisses. | close my eyes, trying to lose myself in his touch.

He fucksthere as he stands on the shallow end. | come, my climax hitting me

out of nowhere. But it all feels underwhelming. It's not a fire. Not an ache.

Not Zaid.

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Chapter 242

When he throws our clothes on the deck, he's back to wrapping an arm around

my waist. His hands slide down my back and he kissesagain.

It's warm and familiar.

But something's missing.

My eyes stay closed longer than they should. Maybe if | don't look at him, | can pretend | don't feel the

difference. That this doesn't feel like a memory trying to repeat itself rather than something new.

He pulls back, helpingwrap my legs around his waist. "So, tellmore about this fellowship with your aunt."

"Well, it's my aunt's fellowship. I'm just freeloading."

That gets a chuckle out of him.

| smile and tell him the basics. He listens, nodding, listening as he looks around.

"You have to go," he says after a beat. "It's likenot taking the UCLA offer. You have to."

My heart thuds. It would be like that, wouldn't it? | would tell Aiden he's insane for not taking it if he showed any

signs of doubt. | wouldn't ever let him chooseover an opportunity like that.

So, why would | let myself choose Zaid?

His lips find mine again, and | kiss him back. He's hard between his legs and his

cock brushes against my thighs, makingtense.

He moves his lips down my jaw. "Fuck, I've missed you."

| nod, letting my body take his touch, take his kisses. | close my eyes, trying to

lose myself in his touch.

He fucksthere as he stands on the shallow end. | come, my climax hitting me

out of nowhere. But it all feels underwhelming. It's not a fire. Not an ache.

Not Zaid.

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| kiss him again, and we get out of the water, sitting on the porch swing wrapped

in towels. Aiden is unnervingly quiet, and | feel too distraught to say anything.

He finally looks atafter a moment, and he studies my profile. It's long enough

that |

turn to him, wondering why he hasn't said anything.

His brow creases. "Did that feel different to you?".

My chest aches and my nostrils flare. The last thing | want to do is lie. "Yes."

He turns back to look at the water, his jaw clenching. We don't say anything else until the door to the house

opens and Zaid joins us. He looks at us with a surprised expression, no doubt wondering why we're sitting

outside naked.

Aiden looks at Zaid and just gets up and leaves.

| want to crumple, fall into the ground and disappear.

"What happened?" Zaid whispers, wrapping his arms aroundas | fall into his

chest.

Chapter 243

The wind carries the scent of pine and lake water toward us, the breeze cool.

| don't turn to look at Zaid, just feel his body against mine. The towel still clings to

my damp skin and | am incredibly uncomfortable. Still, | don't want to move away from his

touch.

Zaid's chin rests lightly on my shoulder. His breath is warm against my skin. It seems he's had enough of the

silence and his quiet voice breaks it.

"Do you not want to talk about it?"

| close my eyes, my body soft in his arms, but my heart heavy. "I never told you

this, but I didn't know how to feel about Aiden coming."

He pulls back slightly. Just enough so | feel the space open between us. His hand

lingers on my waist, but his eyes studyintensely. "What do you mean? | thought you wanted

him here."

I nod. "I thought | did, too, but then when we talked at dinner that one time, | questioned my feelings."

He says nothing, givingthe chance to keep talking.

| turn toward him, letting the towel fall down my shoulders a little. "I ended up

calling Cami yesterday, and | decided that | was... | was going to break up with

him."

Zaid blinks. | see the flicker of surprise in his eyes. Again, he doesn't say anything, just

waits.

| take a breath. "And then | saw him at the airport, and he kissed me, and for a second, | remembered how he

madefeel safe when | first moved to Arizona.

He was the first real comfort | had. He gavesomething stable when everything

else felt like

quicksand."

Zaid's brows pull together. His thumb brushes along my cheekbone gently, like

he's soothing something beneath my skin.

"I don't know what to feel."

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He sighs, moving his hand down to my neck. "I can't tell you what to feel, love.

But it sounds like your confusing platonic and romantic feelings."

"I know," | breathe. "That's the problem. | can't always tell the difference. | know

they're not the same; but sometimes my brain doesn't know. I'm having a hard tseparating them when it

comes to Aiden."

He's quiet for a long moment, and then he leans in, pressing his forehead to mine.

"It sounds like you don't trust your own feelings," he whispers.

My lip trembles. | hate that he's right.

"I don't," | admit, and the tears break free. They fall hot and fast, and | don't try to stop them.

His hands cup to cradle my face, thumbs brushing away the tears like he's done that formy entire life.

"You need to get to know yourself better, Alina. You're smart, and strong, but if you don't understand your own

heart, how are you supposed to protect it? | can only protect you so much."

There's no judgement in his eyes or his voice. | let the words settle, and | know

he's right.

He pullsclose again, my cheek resting against his chest, the steady thump of

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his heartbeat calming my nerves.

After a long pause, he asks quietly, "Is that why Aiden was upset? Did you end things?"

| shake my head, lips pressed together. "No. Not really. We were in the lake, and it

was fun. We kissed and that lead to other things, but... it was different. We both

felt it. It wasn't like it used to be. It wasn't us. Not anymore."

Zaid exhales slowly. He says nothing, just holdstighter.

"I think that upset him," | whisper. "That we both knew it was different."

His hand strokes up and down my back, until my breathing evens out again.

"You okay?" he asks quietly.

I nod, even though I'm not sure. "I think I will be."

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His chin rests against the top of my head.

My eyes sting again, but | don't cry again. | don't want to.

We sit like that for a little while, and then he shifts. "You wanna go inside?"

I nod. "Yeah. | need to shower."

We walk back inside the house, our bare feet whispering over the floorboards. My

towel is still knotted at my chest, clinging to my skin. Zaid opens the door for me,

and | step into the cool air of the living room.

Aiden is standing there like he was trying to decide what to do.

He's still only in his towel around his waist, looking sad.

He looks up when he hears us, eyes locking onto mine. His jaw tightens, and he

pulls in a shaky breath.

"I didn't mean to just walk away," he says. "I was trying to process everything."

| cross the room before | can think better of it, my footsteps light against the hardwood. | wrap my arms around

him, pressing my cheek to his chest. "It's

okay."

He exhales into my hair, his hand landing on my shoulder with a soft thud, warm and hesitant. "I don't know

what to feel right now."

| pull back just enough to look up at him. "Then let's shower. Let's get dressed.

And then we can figure it out. We can talk."

He nods.

We part silently, heading in different directions. Zaid givesa nod, a soft smile spreading across his lips, but

he doesn't follow.

| shower quickly, water rushing over my skin, washing off lake water, trying to map

out what | want to say and how | hope this conversation will go.

| dress in a T-shirt and cotton shorts, something comfy and easy. My hair is

damp, braided back.

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When | cback into the living room, Aiden is already there, dressed and dry,

arms crossed, gaze fixed on the floor like it might have all the answers he needs.

Zaid's sitting in the armchair, looking like he doesn't know if he should breathe while we're all here.

When | walk in, they noticeand Zaid stands. "I'll go upstairs. Give you guys

some

space."

Before he can move, Aiden looks up. "Stay."

Zaid pauses. Blinks at his brother.

Aiden nods once. "You should probably be part of the conversation."

The air changes, it tightens around my lungs. But | don't run from it. Zaid looks at

I sit down in the middle of the couch, and Zaid and Aiden sit, too.